Let me tell you a little secret:
Every time I reached a new milestone, I felt a stretch in my emotional body. I could literally feel the edge of my nervous system. Where the fear it held to move me in a new phase of life or direction would meet the fear it held to avoid the unknown and uncertainty and hold me in place.
Have you met an edge of something where you are both terrified of change and terrified for things to stay the same?
This is capacity.
The maximum amount of something that can be contained or held, and in the case of your nervous system, the maximum amount of uncertainty and possibility and change that can be held in your body where you still feel safe.
Most of the women I encounter through my business, are women who have a high capacity for pain and a low capacity for pleasure.
They really can only imagine and emotionally hold space for things going wrong in dating/relationships, and the moment they begin to go right or things begin working out for them, the feeling of losing it all becomes so overwhelming and that self-sabotage takes over.
Even though pain or disappointment are not a feeling that any of us wants to feel, if you have experienced negative emotions often enough, and if these feelings are more familiar to your nervous system, then pleasure/ receiving/ things working out for you/ being loved well can feel like such a stretch to your nervous systems's capacity. Invariably, snapping the rubber band; leaving you a nervous, anxious, paranoid wreck, which is so not the vibe!
I remember a belief I held, was if I even think about things working out for me, then I would actually jinks myself and the opposite would happen instead. I had countless examples that solidified this belief. Therefore my capacity to hold space for things working out well, was low and things going wrong high.
In hindsight, if things were going well, I would both consciously (with my anxiety or awkwardness) and unconsciously (with behaviors I wasn't consciously aware of) sabotage them all in order to make sure the belief I held stayed true.
And what this taught me. . . that I was in more control than I thought over how I got to experience my life.
So I began playing with possibility, and trusting myself even when things felt uncertain. I began to find ways to hold myself in safety when I was meeting a new edge.
I began to see myself as good enough even if things failed or went wrong, releasing some of the pressure and perfectionism I was so accustomed to.
"Everything is figureoutable" as Marie Forleo coined.
This is why I am hosting a very powerful and expansive 3-Day Event starting Friday.
This is what I am inviting you into with me.
I want you to experience what it means to expand your capacity to hold more of the all that comes with being a conscious co-creator.
I want you to feel your personal power come back online.
I want you to feel inspired and moved to reclaim what is rightfully yours, just because it is a desire that was placed on your heart.
I want you to trust yourself again in all areas of your life.
I am hosting it on facebook because I want us to have a space to commune together in the in-between moments of these classes.
This is the reason why I found my husband.
This is the reason why I left my career as a therapist and became a coach.
This is the reason why I have a very successful coaching business.
Capacity is the reason and I want it to become yours too.